Saturday, September 12, 2020

It's Great to turn Eight

A Corgi Tales post is LONG overdue, but like everyone else, my life has been upended by the COVID pandemic.   I work in health care in an office of 40+ people.   Since late March, I have been the ONLY person who is there in the office 40 hours a week.   We have three managers who rotate weeks, and one other half time office person who is a tremendous help and oversees much of the hospice caseload.    I work in a supportive role to all who are working from home as well as our clinicians in the field.  Our county has the second highest number of cases of COVID in Indiana and we have had many patients die in our care.   So no one gets to tell me that anything about the pandemic is overblown. 

The HUGE silver lining in pandemic was that my brother Dan (who has lived in China 29 years - exactly half his life) spent four months with me this Spring and Summer.   It was a delight to have him; the dogs adored him; he did all of my yard work and much of the cooking and we had some walks in the evening and trips to various Indiana state parks on the weekends.   At some point I hope to write about those, and share pictures.    In the midst of it all, we experienced unspeakable tragedy in relationship to Dan's closest friends in the Twin Cities.   It was good for us to be together as all of that was playing out.  He made a trip out to MN the end of July and is with his friends again now for a few weeks.    He is now on a year of  home assignment, traveling and recruitng in the US, and hopes to return to China next August. Pretty typical late after work scene at our house when all the neighborhood kidscome over to play with the dogs.

Though I don't have time or energy to go back and share stories of 2020, I had to stop and take time to write a post in honor of Scarlett's 8th birthday - which was yesterday.    
    









It was 7 years ago this month that my friend Betty and I drove to the Ozarks to pick her up after the breeders (from southern Alabama) realized she did not tolerate the heat and needed a home in a northern climate. Northern MN fit the bill. We moved a few years later, but she still loves the snow more than anything. She's mellow and compliant and very sweet, although she gets VERY upset at those BIG BIG dogs that pull the Amish buggies. She was the unofficial fastest runner at a corgi meet up in the Twin Cities when she was 3 years old and still LOVES to run, swim (!!) and eat (!!!!). She loves to show off her rolling gymnastics for anyone who will watch. When we were in the Upper Peninsula in August, she scratched her cornea while digging in the sand, and we have been doctoring with several different antibiotics and types of treatment, hoping to avoid eye flap surgery, which would take a small flap of tissue to cover the ulcer on the cornea.     She's been a trooper through it all.    The drops sting, and unlike Zak, who would run to the furthest corner of the house to avoid them,  Scarlett comes right to me and willingly allows me to put them in; then burying her head in my lap for a few minutes until the stinging stops.   It's been a strange but real bonding time for us.    
Zak and were enjoying a little nap until someone else decided she didn't want to be left out. She's only 24# but when she suddenly pounces on your back, it kind of knocks the wind out of you.













We have visited lots and lots of area parks this year, exploring the region in more depth than we have in the now-almost-three-years since we moved to Indiana.     Today after church, we went to Powatami Park in South Bend for some squirrell chasing fun.    It was a beautiful early Fall day after a hot and humid summer.   Bring on the cooler temperatures!    In a few weeks we will take a camping trip south to Brown County and Kentucky, redoing portions of last year's trip (which was a total rain-out event) and picking up a few new places as well. 

Sunday, February 9, 2020

Six Month Update

I love our back yard in the Fall 
Poor Scarlett got the worst
of the Rottweiler attack

It's been a long time since I've posted an update.   In October, we  took a week long camping trip to southern Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee and North Carolina.  It rained every day but one and my dogs were attacked by a Rottweiler on a hiking trail in Brown County State Park, so it was far from a perfect trip but we still had fun. 
Blowing Rock, NC

Brown County, IN - Vibrant Color even in the rain
Cumberland Falls


On December 14 my brother Tim had a serious heart attack that required quadruple bypass surgery.    It was a rough ending to a year in which I had hoped to find some peace.
December 14, 2019
Meier Heart Center, Grand Rapids 
One week after surgery - Christmas Eve and a
group of Tim's friends & kids came to give us
a little violin concert.  Tim couldn't help but
pick up his director's baton even though he had been
home less than 24 hours. 


These two never cease to bring love and laughter
Same department - new location - new position 

I began 2020 - a new decade - DETERMINED to make this a turn-around year and so far, it has been.   I am more content and peaceful right now than I've been in 4 years.    I have let go and distanced myself from the source of judgment and pain, and am off social media for a year.   I absolutely love my new job and live close enough that I am able to come home for lunch every day which I (and the dogs) love!   Indiana has become home, and my 'home' is a quiet and peaceful place to isolate, rest and heal.   I am reading a lot, taking a class on line and enjoy nothing more than sitting by the fireplace watching the cardinals at my feeder and the dogs play in the snow.   We haven't had much, but it is finally white and crisp again, and I was actually very grateful for calm weather and good roads during the 4 weeks I was commuting to Holland to help care for Tim after his surgery.

The silver lining in Tim's heart attack is that it has caused me to make some lifestyle changes, since cardiovascular disease is very prevalent in my family.   We inherited it from both sides and having already had a stroke which turned my life upside down, I got serious about ramping up the exercise and taking the time to make healtheir meals.   I'm learning to make some really wonderful meals with fish, quinoa, fresh vegetables and cutting back on dairy (my weakness.)
Fun group to work with 

Our director (L) and my direct report (R) 
As I managed Tim's schedule, meeting his many, many friends and keeping them updated on his progress, I received appreciation and affirmation I hadn't experienced in four years.   I found out that the person I thought was gone forever, is still there - right under the surface - just needing to back away from those who were toxic and convincing me that I was without worth and outside of God's love.    I had difficulty backing away from them because 1) they were in my face constantly and 2) I believed them.    Tim's friends and the distraction that his illness brought, showed me that my strength is still there!    Stronger than ever, for I have learned so much!     I finally walked away, and am finding rest and healing in solitude.    The one solid connection I have is a small group I joined last summer  - a group that meets weekly, year round (consistency is something that is very important to me), and has embraced and loved me as I am.   I am so grateful for them - and the bonus is that several of them live in my neighborhood.   My work colleagues are great fun and very affirming too.   I feel like I am starting to find solid ground again.  I had friends from MN stop on their way to Florida a few weeks ago, and that was a wonderful time of sharing and affirmation as well.   I feel like my "old self" is slowly returning as I let "church" go for now - and am focused on staying safe in my own home, reading and listening to messages on line.

This afternoon has been pure delight as I have had a steady stream of cardinals at my feeder ... sometimes 7-8 at a time or waiting their turn in the bushes.   The beauty and diversity of God's creation never ceases to move me.   I had a long talk with my brother Dan this morning (the second this week) as he is currently evacuated on a beach in southern Thailand (hard to feel TOO sorry for him) and teaching his classes on line, while waiting out the coronovirus crisis in China. 








    

A friend from the Triumph stamp group in MN reminded me of a verse from Philippians 4 recently.  Remember the old Sunday School song, "I've got the joy, joy, joy ....down in my heart."    That joy has eluded me since May 4, 2016 - almost four years!    The second verse says, "I have the peace that passes understanding down in my heart."   I have come to realize, more than ever, that I had to let go of the need to understand those who are cruel and condemning.    There IS no understanding.    So I bought myself a gift to start this new decade with - and wear it nearly every day, along with my semi colon ring.   I'm never going to understand - and I no longer need to.     I have the peace that PASSES understanding - down in my heart.  



Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends
all understanding, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.