Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Saying Goodbye

Princess, at the age of 15-3/4 years, has lived an extraordinarily long and wonderful life.   Our veterinarian gave me the supreme compliment at her wellness check in October when she said  "You've taken such good care of her."   I hope it's true.   Princess was my first corgi, and the one who made me fall in love with the breed.  Just like first time parents, you cut your teeth on your first puppy and learn as you go.   I'm sure I made some mistakes, but it wasn't for lack of love.   I adored my girls, and only hope Scarlett and Zak have lives that are just as good.

Sleeping in the car
The past few weeks have been tough for Princess.    We've had a cold start to the winter, she gets the chills when she goes outside and needs help going up and down the steps.   She drinks so much water and of course that means she has to go outside a lot too.   The puppies are rambunctious and bother her.   This Fall she went to work with me most every day but now that it's gotten cold, she can no longer do that.    She adores my neighbors and loves to go to their house.   But those trips are more difficult with the onset of winter.    Her digestive system has been upset, her back hurts and her legs are no longer stable.   It's time to say goodbye.

Princess with our neighbors, Mike and Gina

On Thursday, my neighbors will accompany us to our veterinary clinic in Casselton where we will help her cross the Rainbow Bridge.   Unlike Dee Dee, who passed in an unfamiliar place with a doctor we'd never met, Princess will have our wonderful Dr. Schmid, and Casselton has a special room, quiet and peaceful, just for this journey.   I anticipate that it will be a bit easier than it was with Dee Dee.    Princess is almost three years older and I have no doubt that it is time.

Princess and Susan
But the ache in my heart is still horrific.   Ever since the decision was made last week, I've had intermittent waves of grief.   Not one to cry in front of others, I've savored the moments we've had together at home.   But Princess is not just my dog.   Dee Dee was very attached to me and didn't even want to leave the house without me.   But Princess has so many, many friends.   And because of that, I've needed to let them say goodbye.   So, since Saturday, we've have a number of different friends stop over.   Princess has enjoyed tummy rubs and special treats, although I've maintained pretty tight control over that because I don't want her to have a tummy upset in her final days.   On Sunday, our friend Susan Lenthe took these wonderful photos of us together.    They will bring comfort in the weeks ahead.  Tonight I will bury my head in her back, memorize her smell and allow my tears to fall on her fur ... I will linger ... I will treasure these last two evenings together.   She will always be my PRINCESS.

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